Today

I was in the subway this morning and I saw this advertisement. I thought to myself: if you can read this advertisement.....well probably you don't need the service. I'm not a marketing genius....but seems kind of obvious to me how irrelevant it would be to put up a sign for English....IN ENGLISH.

If it said Learn English BETTER, I could understand. Better implies you have a grasp already and you would like to enhance what you already know about the English language. But if you can't speak a lick of English chances are you don't read it either. I highly doubt the immigrant population of New York read the Times every morning and then struggle to communication to their boss about their shitty paychecks.

Is it just me?

I mention this because I think sometimes we over look obvious things in pursuit of the bigger picture. Not realizing just how important the small details are. You have to remember who you are doing things for. If they are for yourself well then you can't let other people influence that. And if they are for other people, well you can't impose what you think on them.

It isn't an easy line to walk on but one that you have to try and balance on. Life is too exhausting as it is and wasting the wrong energy in the right place or the vice versa isn't something i would recommend to anyone.

Happy Monday- Now you know

LOL.....nuff said.

Things that make you go Hmmmmm?

If one's of women's biggest gripes with men is cheating. Why is it that a woman, if attracted to a man who is already in a relationship, won't congratulate the fact that he just turned down her sexual advances???? Isn't he doing the right thing? Well isn't he?.........

The 8th Wonder; Woman

Psssst! Psssst! Hey you! Yeah you reading this blog! Wanna know something? Like something HUGE? Lean closer. Closer. Closer...guess what?............YOU WILL GO BLIND TRYING TO READ AT THIS DISTANCE BACK UP MORON!!!!

Laugh. Sorry just kidding, I couldn't help myself. What I really wanted to let you in on is a little secret I have discovered about the opposite sex: they are human. Yes! They bleed just like us men!

you are on your first date with a the beautiful girl you met at a random get together at a friend's house. She is smart, funny and has an amazing body! Score! You might have found "the one" (whatever THAT means). But wait.....did you floss? Is that funk you smell? Is your deodorant working? OMG, these shoes are from 2000!....She will clearly see through your cover! You aren't this cool! Not at all! What if she finds out you are a schmuck like the rest of us?

Relax dude. Dating tip 4080: women are schmucks to. And I mean she is just as nervous on the date as you are. Women are very self conscience about themselves, what they where and how they are precived. But then again most of us are. Women are just known for it more. The trick the female race has learned through the ages however is how to mask this almost flawlessly as so you [dumb male that you are] would never be able to detect when a woman is actually uncomfortable and feeling arkward.

When you two meet up she is looking for interesting things to say the same as you are. She is checking to see if her breasts are visable enough so that you notice but not out to the point you think she is a slut. Look at a woman's outfit thought goes into it. Trust me. If she looks like a slob that just rolled out of bed that was carefully put together as well....means she probably doesn't give a flying rat's ass if you notice her "rack" or not because you are probably on your last date with her.

However on the flip side if you see her hair looks particularly shiny and neat.....well it is because she probably got it done ON PURPOSE to see you. Feel special. Women HATE wasting 1. a good hairdo and 2. a good outfit on someone who is boring and has spinach stuck in his teeth. Please avoid being this guy at all costs.

All costs.

But remember in the back of your mind, she is nervous to. She is wondering if her dress is too high, cute enough, if you will notice. Man listen notice EVERYTHING hair, nails, bag, shoes, dress, and the scent she wears. She, just like you, is out to empress. So don't think the entire date/night out/ chill session is about impressing her. Have some confidence in yourself she has to impress you as well. Think of it like a job interview, when you interview a lot of times you are so desperate for a job you just want them to hire you so you can pay a bill. But an interview is a chance for you to ask THEM questions as well and see, well basically, if you would vibe well working there. Do they do summer fridays? How big were last year's profit margins? Where does the company see itself in 5 years? Is that where you see yourself? If no......well u got to find another place to interview.

See we get so caught up with just getting a job, we don't do the due diligence necessary to get a job with the right fit.

Funny thing is when you have another job already lined up you would actually ask these questions.....you aren't desperate and you know they must want you. So you baragin if you can.

But lets stop the analogy here......lol

So going forward don't fret she; is sweating just like you are.

He-motions

Sorry guys I am in bit of a somber mood today so I am going to vent. Hopefully an idea will materialize from my ramblings.

Ever hear this story: "Young mother throws baby out of window" or "Man beat daughter's mother up in a domestic violence."

Usually, at least for me, when hearing those stories I would become disgusted. "How could someone do that?" What could it have been THAT bad you want to throw a baby out or hit someone in the face with a bat? Life has since took a pair of rusty needle nose pliers and snatched open my eyelids. Case in point.....

Average joe works hard. He has avoided drugs, alcohol and jail by doing what he was told to do and believing that life will give him what he deserves. He graduates, he finds a job and he has a car. Great? huh? Enter beautiful woman: now the scenario is really complete. Good girlfriend, possibly marriage life is sweeet! Life is a bitch. Be clear.

So apparently average joe buys her a ring and does what he can for their dream wedding. They are married, she becomes pregnant. Joe jr is a bundle of joy. Everything is good. Joe loses his job. All of a sudden when things are a little tight Ms. Joe is angry; her life style has become a little stretched. Joe is still a good guy and works hard. He isn't finding a job fast enough and the baby is constantly crying. Joe argues with his perfect wife. He still sacrifices to get her whatever she wants, she is still beautiful. They still argue. He becomes a "worthless piece of shit" who can't do for him or the baby. Woah! When did this happen?

Joe then finds out she has been having sex in his house with someone else. Apparently joe wasn't satisfying her? Joe comes home to find divorce papers on his kitchen table and a letter stating he needs to leave the house he bought. He doesn't see Joe. jr and after a week of not living there walks into the kitchen after picking up mail to see her young lover making breakfast for his sexual temptress who is still upstairs sleeping.......

What would you do? Bat to the face? Walk away? Send a scathing letter to match.com for giving Joe an undercover whore?

Second scenario....

Young girl is dating. Things are fine. She is in school and has had a great time. Loves her boyfriend. Mother and family support her. She is having sex. She is partying. She is enjoying college life. Ooops! Condom breaks. No biggie this is what clinic's are for: there is a medical complication she didn't anticipate. She realizes aborting the baby my cause another issue that is life threatening. Boyfriend loves her...but fatherhood isn't in the 4 year plan.

Motherhood happens. School stops. It is alright though, countless other women have gone through and dealt with this issue. She is strong enough to as well. Boyfriend said he will support. But they are both jobless and with no degree. She drops out. She won't burden him. She'll come back to school a few months after the baby is born. Pregnancy is tough alone. She is a mommy. She loves her child. She comes home......then the crying starts. She gets email about spring break, she can't go. She looks at her dresses. She can't fit them. She sees stretch marks. The baby will not stop crying. Her parents don't approve and offer little help. Only one friend really stops by. The others are out partying, drinking, having sex, being her 10 months ago. The baby keeps crying.
Pampers are expensive. So is rent. Can't afford food this week AND a crib. The baby will sleep with her. How do you sleep with a newborn in the bed......where is the chapter on that?
The crying keeps her up all night. She screams now. It doesn't stop. School called and bursar wants money. Her degree is on the line. Where did her future go? The baby WILL NOT STOP SCREAMING......

what do you do? Walk away? What if you have done that 3 times already...the baby is super small....helpless....and the window is open. Her life is right outside that window......what would you do?

Sorry to be so morbid but each scenario is real. They happen everyday. And everyday people try to deal with them. Aforementioned with the girl and child I wrote about because I think that is the only example of a woman letting her emotions get the best of her that is looked down upon. In almost any other instance, people push the blame away from her. Motherhood, the proverbial rite of every woman is something they innately should just KNOW how to handle. And handle well, it is in their DNA after all! And if they don't know how to handle it then there is something completely off with their make up. They fucked up somewhere and didn't tell anybody.

As far as Joe.....well he is a man. And he should not have hit that woman in the face with a bat! He should have better control over his emotions! Right? He is a man and he is stronger than a woman, who is vulnerable. He should have known better! How dare her trust her so blindly! Believe in life to completely!

Now I don't want to turn anyone off to the blissful joys of marriage or children. I am just trying to clearly make a point about emotions and life situations. Sometimes things will happen to you that will seem completely unbearable. Un-reasonable or un-believable. And as a man or rather a person if you aren't all there emotionally it can drive you to become another person completely or do things which are out of character. In each case I just described no one seemed crazy or violent. They just got pushed to the point where they saw their only option was to lash out . You got work on the inside as well as the outside when you develop as a person and a man.

Many times we (as men) are taught emotions are for wimps. That is false. We have them. And in some regards they run deeper than woman's because we aren't taught ways to express them. If someone isn't emotionally stable and they are put in either situation it could be volcanic. And would you blame them? Are you any better? It is hard to imagine unless you put yourself in their shoes. Know what it feels like to really be at your wits end........

If you are emotionally sound to the point you think you could handle either situation better, then consider yourself lucky and blessed. But remember a lot of people aren't that lucky. Everybody can have children and get married. I don't believe everyone can handle it the way they think they can. Know yourself. Know your limitations. And know the limitations of others.

Now when you hear those stories...........pray for those people......

[can you tell im going to talk about spirituality in my next blog? LMAO]

Im Da Shiiiit.

It happened: you ate the mystery meat in the cafeteria at work. It sorta looked like tacos but now your lower intestines are sorta mad with you. The fourth grade wiggle dance, once a sure fire way to avoid eminent disaster, is now only making a bad situation turn to shit, fast! [pun intended]
However as a grown ass adult over the age of 25 you expect the natural reaction to using the urinals in your office to mimic other similar adult behavior. [schmuck!]

Long story short you walk out of the bathroom and get one of these stares:


And you in turn feel dirty. You did something bad. Why couldn't that stalls have been empty and YOU could have been the one to walk out and shake your head in disapproval at the disgusting human being that blew it up right BEFORE you came in here. How could someone do that? Shit? In a bathroom? Who does that?

Everybody. Get over yourself buddy. The thing about maturity is that it starts with you. If you start acting mature then you will be surprised at the people around you who in turn do so as well. Of course you don't want to sit in a bathroom hearing all types of interesting sounds for 30 mins. BUT it is a human function EVERYONE does. Even her:


Yes fellas even she gets bubble guts every now and again. So my point? As a man and a mature adult, why would you scoff at someone or something you know you yourself do as well? See someone with their fly unzipped? Please just stop them and let them know "Hey man...might want to take care of that..." rather than poking your buddy and having a private laugh. It has happened to you and you know how embarrassing YOU felt.

Now if you see a woman with her underwear showing you can tell her at your own discretion (just kidding, sorta).

Man Hood.

Forgive me for my mistakes, Im still a kid learning the responsibility of being an adult
- author unknown

Happy Monday. Just wanted to make a few comments on this quote I got from a random picture. Made me think of something not to many people seem to want to realize: you are NOT perfect. Yes I said it. You will most undoubtedly FUCK SHIT UP. You turd!

But now knowing this, i would hope some of the pressure you put on yourself to orchestra all of your movements around this idea that "I don't wanna make a mistake". You will drive yourself literally insane. You are expected as a man to be:

1. "strong"
2. silent
3. Immune to emotional attacks on your character
4. Be able to fix stuff
5. unafraid of any bug, mouse, vermin or insect that walks the earth
6. own a car
7. Know what a woman wants at any given moment
8. be sensitive but not a punk
9. never get shown up by another guy ESP. in front of a girl ESP. YOUR own girl
10. etc, etc, etc, etc, etc,......

Of course I could write this list for hours, but you get the gist. You will or have broken one of these cardinal rules. And if you haven't....it isn't even 8am yet. Im sure by lunch you'll do the deed. The thing is not to be crippled by it. You need to embrace your faults and shortcummings as they are part of the stew that makes you who you are. Ignoring them doesn't really do much for them working for you. You have to embrace ALL of you before others do.

When you realize you aren't perfect you will take the pressure off your shoulders to become Jay Z or Vin Diesel or whomever else is personified as what guys should shoot for these days. You will realize that those goals are a bit unrealistic seeing as you aren't an amazing MC or [insert adjective for Vin Diesel's talents]. And that frankly is ok. You will mess up every now and again and that is ok as well. As long as you learn from the mistake. That is the hard part. If you don't learn then you are doomed to repeat whatever fuck up you stepped in today.

Here's a trick i learned: learn from the mistakes other people have made.....helps you save time and energy....like cliff notes...for your life...

Always push yourself. Never doubt yourself. Know the difference.

Random Thought of the Day

So if you are from New York Fucking City [like I am] then you will be able to relate to the following statement: "How long should I wait before I run this red light?"

If you happen to be from a part of America where mailboxes do not close with lock and key but rather by a small metal flag switching from a vertical to horizontal position this may or may not be a concept you grasp right away. I will explain: As a city that ever sleeps the social atmosphere of New York is alive and teeming at any given moment. It is very likely at 3 o'clock in the morning to be walking down a Manhattan Ave and see a stretched luxury car with a celebrity in the back seat on the same mission for late night pizza that you are.

Usually when the viral injection of the New York club scene has left your body, you climb into your car to make the big escape from the island.

Now at 3 or 4 o'clock in the morning the streets of most cities in America are deserted. In the dirty veins of the rotten apple you can very well run into bumper to bumper traffic, sit for 45 mins and miss your exit to go home after the midnight hour. Then there is the dilemma;
What happens when you pull up to a red light, no cars for at least half a mile in any direction and the light has been red for at least 3 minutes?

[Ed Note: New york is probably the most impatient lot of people on the planet. We move at the speed of people here. Ironically trains and buses are never on time, which is probably part of the reason so many New Yorkers always seem highly agitated. So waiting 3 minutes for a light to change, outside of bumper to bumper traffic is the equivalent to a whole game of golf on TV....you kind of want it to hurry along]

What do you do? Do you run it? Do you wait for your turn? Do you wait for the green light, the proverbial signal that it is the right time to go? You can get home that much faster and quicker. You need to sleep and rest. You need to get home and out of these streets. You have liquor in your system and you are hungry and this red light is a hindrance. The thing is your moral code dictates to you that running a red light is wrong, against the law [because it is].

But then you rationalize it in your head and you think no one is even around, i can get away with it; and you do it. You run the red light and catch the other green in the distance, making your way home. However when you look in your rear view mirror the flash of red lights interrupts your train of thought. Wait.....no! Yup, there was a patrol car waiting at that corner for you. At that corner with the delayed traffic light that they know impatient New Yorkers will try to run after midnight. You take one last glance in your rear view only to see a small sphere of green floating above the street. If you had just waited a little while longer you would have been fine! You were just a little impatient. You just had to wait it out a little bit longer. Now your 45 seconds of impatience will cost you points on your license, a ticket and possibly jail time if this cop decides to check for the 2 or 3 corona hiding on your palette. Was it worth it?


Ah! Here in lies the question and the meat (pause) of today's blog. No it wasn't worth it. An although most times you probably would have made it home safe beating the red light. The fact remains that bad behavior leads to bad habits; the precursors for bad character or judgements there off. Just because the effects of something you did don't show up right then and there doesn't mean that they will never show up. I know sometimes you want to smash someone's head in, because they just disrespected you at work or home. Your girlfriend just said "you act like a little bitch" after an argument daring you to say/do something by not moving out of your way to the bedroom.

You can't run the red light....don't take the risk. Wait another minute or two before you react. We men are NOT conditioned to deal in emotions. When men get their buttons pushed we just lash out. It is simple, doesn't require much thinking or planning and gives instant gratification. We all love the quick pay off.

But again you never know what those actions will do in the long run. Don't run the red light. Wait another minute. I know it is difficult, you have to sit on your hands a lot. But this is the thing about being a man.....being a better man.....it isn't easy. It is HARD. (pause). Your character will be tested constantly by people you feel are less than you. The minute you break the law they win. If Will Smith met me and I called him a faggot and he punched me........ well I'd sue and try to date Jada (Sorry Will!). My life would probably continue pretty ok. He on the other hand would have to deal with negative press, accusations that he is a mean person not to mention the law suit I would win for assault. He felt good for that 45 secs he saw my nose bleeding, but was it all worth it?

What would it have been for him to look at me and smile and say "Well you look like one to and I still wouldn't date you..."? and walk away? Hmmm.....? Wouldn't I still be an asshole and he a megastar with over 40 million dollars in the bank? So who is really stupid?

Don't run the red light. Wait.

Again there are always exceptions to the rule. If you are bleeding and this stop at the light might cause you to die by all mean, no one will question that. If your child is hurt or something is wrong with them burn them muth@#$@* lights!!!!

But other than that, think about it. Really think about it. Is it worth it is a deicision you will always have to live with......

Once you get through that light and you look up you realize you are out of sync with all the other lights now....there will be 6 more lights ahead of you before you get home.....good luck.

Been a long time

I just want to apologize about the amount of time it has taken me to post a new blog. Been going through a lot lately. Shit has been really stressing me the fuck out and its been hard to concentrate. But that is no excuse. Writing every day is as much good for me as it is for you.

Wanted to give some advice to young fathers today. This is what has been on my mind as of late. There are many single mom's out there with absentee fathers not handling their responsibilities. If you are a man who is there for your children and is making sure you provide for them to the best of your abilities. Well then by all means you should be applauded.

Single mothers are probably the backbone of this Nation. Our next president (go Obhama!) was raised by a single mom. Just to show you the power a woman has. But this is not to take any light away from dads. If you are a dad, married, engaged, common law marriage or just waking up every morning and praying for strength not to kill your son's or daughter's mother then this is for you.

1. Remember you are not a mom. You can never be a woman nor should you try to compete with one in the parenting department. You are a dad. Do dad stuff. Don't EVER compare yourself to mommy. Not a fair comparison.

2. help out. Be as big a part of the child birthing process as you can. You can't push the baby out but you can encourage her. She is scared shitless dude....so even though you are to, you got to remain cool.

3. keep cool. Emotions are a sumabitch! and when they are on high with a woman Lord WATCH OUT. but you got to remain level headed and remember what she is going through. and not all the time is her negative energy directed towards you more so just the situation (it is temporary)

4. You will mess up. No one is perfect and you aren't going to mess up your child for the rest of their lives. Child are pretty strong and resilient. They bounce back really quickly. So if you are trying your best then you are doing a great job. Alawys ask for help. It does take a village.

5. Be you. Becoming a father doesn't mean you think different. Just gives you different things to think about. So if you are someone who likes going to the movies or listening to Tupac. Once you have a child that doesn't change. Just got to listen to 'Pac with headphones while the baby is sleeping rather than blasting it like you used to.

6. Communicate. The biggest hurdle you may face as a dad is actually the relationship with the other parent. As a rule kids pretty much adore you for no reason, just because of who you are. But being a dad can become a nightmare if you are competing with mom or vice versa. Parenting is not a contestt, its a partnership. You have to give a little and she has to as well. If not it will create a tension that is very much not necessary or condusive to good parenting.

*climbing down off soapbox*