Lost in Translation

"No, this trick won't work...How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love?" - Albert Einstein


So....you say you wanna figure women out huh? Well sir join the freaking club: member since 1981. Since the dawn of man the question as to "why" or "how" a woman does things has baffled more minds than a few. Seriously I have inquired to both men and women a like about the fallacies and inaccuracies that plague the female mind and both have drawn a blank which leads me to believe that women are on some different shit that we men will NEVER understand EVER!

And I am not talking about the normal baffling questions: "Do you think I look fat?". Listen guys let me de-funk this for you: yes she does look fat and she knows you look fat otherwise she would not have asked the question. It is sort of like asking "Think the Yankees will win it all this year? Obviously if you asked you have doubts....

She asked you that question guys to see what you were going to say. I don't know where in the history of mankind this became the national pastime for women but it has gained amazing popularity since the dawn of creation: "Hey Adam, you want a fruit salad?"

Women are constantly thinking, about everything, including what you are thinking. And because women pride themselves on being extremely clever they try to indirectly ask you questions to see what your reactions are and based on that surmise why you exist on the planet. It is all really simple. The usual question of "what are you thinking" annoys the hell out of men *hint, hint*. So women will try to ask the very same question in a round about way

But before I continue, women, seriously...if someone asked you "what are you thinking/on your mind" everytime you guys got around one another wouldn't you want to slap them? Sure guys aren't communicative and we "close up" but it is 5:25....I walked in the house at 5:00pm....maybe I dunno 6:45 might be a better time to find out my inner most thoughts and desires? Just food for thought....

So when you hear a question, that breaks you out of the self induced stooper you have put yourself in while watching the game, of "what do you think about the Roberts getting a divorce after a year". Please translate that to: "I'd like your thoughts on marriage and divorce to see how yours and mine match up". Not "lets talk about some random people I only see at the laundry and try to avoid". Come on guys get on the ball! Its simple!