Staycation

"Staycation" is a phrase coined by some genius marketing person to lend a descriptive phrase to the shared ideology of the country: "I ain't doing sh@!#"--> Due to increased gas prices, plane and movie tickets and general public consensus of a jacked up economy people are having a staycation for the 4th.....in their couches, on their porches and deep deep in their backyards, if they have one (they are scare in the concrete jungle).

Great! This means that when your girlfriend wants to go to the Jersey Shore to "hang out" or expects special "plans" because of the the holiday weekend you can gladly say "Hey I am broke and us going out is going to make it worse!" Right? Wrong!

Women are not thinking about the economy! They aren't worrying about gas prices, YOU drive! When is the last time she paid for a dinner? 1998? So who cares what the price of entrees are?

To the women who read this blog who do own cars, use them and give money to people who come and pick you up from far places, God bless you. To the rest of you bitches read on.

So as a MAN it is your job to plan something, but also your job as a decent human freakin' being to also make sure you can pay your light bill in a month. What do you do?

The only thing you can do in one of the worse economic climates in recent history: become creative. No one has more imagination than someone with no money and time. Go to your local prision and give an inmate a month a McGuyver survival package with 3 highlights, a match stick, two pens and a half a cheeca pet and he will make a weapon out of it with the ability to kill you in your sleep. Is it because he is inventive? Most likey he isn't even high school educated, but with enough time and lack of resources all sorts of wondrous things blossom!

Now that being said please don't develop weapons of mass destruction to start killing your annoying girlfriends in their sleeps. We don't want to harbour bad karma here but we do want to let you know that free events, movies, plans, and things in general are the almost sure fire way to remain "the man" and keep yourself from smacking your $$$ insensitive partner for being alive.....

Fireworks --> the fourth of July is always a great freebie. Pick a spot. Get a good view and enjoy the romantic, thoughtful, sappy moment you have just created! The fourth of july Macy fireworks is a great way to be romantic/thoughtful without doing too much. Make some peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches and bring a cheap bottle of wine. Presto! Instant thoughtfulness.
Now the best thing to do is pretend you don't have anything planned and invite her to make a "store run" with you....drive around until you get to the place you picked out and walk out to find a nice little spot.

My next post will probably be about children so please use condoms! Your Welcome!